A New Year’s Resolution

The morning starts as afternoon. A cotton pillowcase is the first texture of the New Year to greet me. Next comes the crushing pressure in the skull that only champagne and sweet bourbon cocktails can give. Then there’s the dry rub of dehydration on my tongue. My need for water is intense, but that want is superseded by the weight of my hangover.

Happy New Year.

It’s at this moment–the instant when I am overcome with a compelling need for something greasy, unhealthy, and heavy on the bacon–that I remember to write my New Year’s resolutions. Later, over breakfast, I’ll thank my lucky stars I didn’t drink more than I did and then jot something down in a notebook. Waiting until the last minute to write my resolutions was a convenient way of avoiding the deeper work of preparing for a new year. I could easily jot something cheery and hopeful down, post it up by my desk, and then do my best to work towards those goals. If I didn’t hit the mark, it wasn’t a profound loss because I hadn’t invested too much time into my plans.

At least, that’s the way things used to happen.

For what feels like the first time ever, I’m approaching the New Year with a clear vision of what I want to achieve. For almost two months now, I’ve been taking a sober look at my life. I’ve spent the winter holidays alcohol free and have used all the extra time and energy I’ve acquired to figure out what’s my place in the world. I’m wrestling with the question of what’s expected of me as a human being.

This year, I’ve got my resolutions written and a vision for my coming year penned way in advance of the ball dropping. Clearly, when you write your New Year’s resolutions says a lot about where you are at in your life.

Back in what feels like the olden days, I convinced myself that the reason why I waited until the last moment to write out my resolutions was because I needed to let inspiration run through the rough grains of the 365 days of the closing year. But the real reason was that I was afraid to take an honest inventory of my life and see where I was headed. I was perfectly content to skim the surface of my life.

Luckily, things are very different around here this New Years.

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December 23August 16

Service 101: Restaurant Christmas

It’s just days before December 25^th and I’m not even close to having my holiday shopping done. In all honesty, I haven’t really started. A stack of holiday cards lay on the dining room table awaiting a final stamp before I send them off. There are no presents under the tree. I don’t have a holiday menu picked out. Not one Christmas cookie has emerged from my oven.

My heart is full of cheer but I just can’t get myself to catch up to all the holiday festivity making. It’s not that I don’t believe in celebrating. I do. It’s just that I’m not like other people. I celebrate a different kind of holiday. I wait until January 25th for a little holiday I like to call Restaurant Christmas.

Restaurant Christmas happens on (or around) January 25^th and looks a lot like your typical Christmas celebration. Restaurant Christmas is about celebrating love, joy and hope. But one big difference is there’s a lot less traffic. Also, airline tickets back home are less expensive, gifts are on sale, vacation is easier to come by, and my family and loved ones are less stressed because they don’t have four different parties to go to and numerous commitments to fulfill on the very same day.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about when I refer to Restaurant Christmas, it’s because Restaurant Christmas isn’t celebrated by many. As a matter of fact, Restaurant Christmas isn’t really known by many people at all because it’s something I invented several years back.

Restaurant Christmas came to be because I needed a way to get through the holidays with my job in the service industry intact. It’s a self-made holiday which gives me the ability to work every holiday season at my restaurant job with a smile on my face.

My first Restaurant Christmas began one January 25th almost a decade ago when I recognized that only a few restaurant employees can take a vacation during the holiday season. In the world of restaurants, most employees—especially the managers—are required to work through the holidays because Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are some of the busiest days of the year. So rather than leave a career I loved because of missing out on spending time with my distant family, I decided to create my own kind of celebration.

Thus, Restaurant Christmas was born.

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December 12January 4

Hungry in America

Hunger is a powerful thing. In a country where status and positioning get valued above happiness, shame can be even more powerful. Shame has a way of hardening up like a thousand pound bead of amber that drops through the depths of your heart and deposits itself on the very bottom of you. It’s still there but it can no longer be seen. It’s only until you bring shame to the surface and deal with it, that you can let it go.

Shame can stop you from doing things. It can stop you from admitting to doing something wrong. Or even telling the truth about something you did right. Shame may be the main reason why childhood hunger is such a huge problem. Struggling families with kids feel so much shame they don’t take the help that’s available to them. Often, shame trumps the pain of hunger.

My most recent post about Share Our Strength (an organization looking to eradicate childhood hunger in America) wasn’t as honest as it could have been. I let deadlines take precedence over the need to be honest. I did a little research, quoted a few good stats, and attached a recipe. Infused vodka makes a very nice gift. That’s enough, right?

The thing is, I was afraid to tell the truth. I was once a hungry kid.

I hesitate to write this for fear of hurting anyone in my family. Yes, I was hungry once. No, I wasn’t hungry for long stretches of time. But the pain of being hungry as a child and powerlessness I felt because of it, marked me. Neglect lived everywhere in my childhood home. But nothing affected me as much as the neglect I experienced in the kitchen.

That’s why I’m taking the time to circle back, get humble, and open myself up to the honest truth. Because, in order for me to do the work that I’m supposed to do in service and in writing, I need to be vulnerable and honest in everything I put down on the page.

Luckily, I don’t have lots of memories of being hungry. But one day in particular–the day I tried to get help—sticks with me. It sticks with me because the cry for help was ignored and judged by a trusted neighbor.

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December 7December 7

Share our Strength Holiday Table

There may not be snow on the ground here in Los Angeles but the twinkling lights, lawn ornaments, Christmas trees, and car-top menorahs are a clear indicator that many in this city are celebrating the winter holidays. December rolls around and people all over our country begin planning the many ways to celebrate the joy of the season. But not everyone has the means to fulfill those dreams. Many struggle to find the money to pay the bills and put food on the table.

What’s worse, there are millions of hungry children (two in every ten kids in America) that will slip through the cracks without a meal because of the social stigma surrounding hunger. Many would rather skip a meal than reach out for help. Silent suffering needn’t be the answer.

Share Our Strength, a non-profit dedicated to finding a way to get food to our youngest and neediest citizens, wants to eliminate childhood hunger in America by 2015. Thanks to the efforts of volunteers and supporters, Share Our Strength (SOS) created 4.5 million meals for needy children in 2009.

In hopes of raising awareness about childhood hunger in the US—especially during this holiday season–SOS has asked a handful of food bloggers to participate in an online progressive fundraising dinner. Starting December 6^th and ending December 14^th, food bloggers like Deliciously Organic, Gluten Free Girl, Devour the World, Ladles and Jellyspoons, Recipe Girl, Tartlette, The Urban Baker, What’s Gaby Cooking, and Hunger Angler Gardener Cook will feature unique recipes (appetizers, drinks, entrees, desserts and side dishes) on their websites to give people great ideas for holiday eating and drinking—while also raising awareness for a really important cause.

Raising a glass and awareness

It was an honor to be asked to participate in this year’s virtual dinner party as a cocktail contributor. I wanted to write about holiday cocktails because I think it’s important to remember that cocktails, like gifts from the heart, don’t need to be over the top to be good. Sometimes, its the simple and thoughtful things that are most appreciated.

With simplicity in mind, I decided to share with you my recipe for a simple infused vodka. Though an infusion does take a little time to bring out the flavors (I recommend about two weeks at least for a good infusion), this recipe for crab-apple-infused vodka is so good it made me re-think my assumptions about vodka. The sweet flavors of the crab apple are delicate at first, but over time the flavors of the crab apple become more substantial. Make no mistake, there is no jolly-rancher green fake apple flavors to be had when you make your own crab apple vodka. As a matter of fact, this crab-apple vodka is so good, it’s the kind of thing you’ll want to make several batches of, just so you can keep some on hand for yourself and give the rest away as gifts.

Really, it’s that good.

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December 4August 16

Service 101: Energy Crisis in America

“There’s an energy crisis occurring in America and it’s happening in the hearts and minds of its people,” said my friend Ari Weinzweig, in a recent conversation. He shared with me how clear he was that there’s an energy crisis going on–one that’s just as serious as the one centered around our planet’s resources– in our nation’s workforce. Working men and women are checked out, uninterested, frustrated, unfulfilled, and looking forward to going home and doing something else. Poll most people and they’ll tell you the only place they can find emotional rewards or intellectual stimulation it’s outside of the workplace. It seems that the happy and fulfilled worker is a lucky, rare bird with the good fortune to have stumbled across a very special job in a very place.

People who are truly happy in their work naturally give off a positive energy. Those that are happy in their work have a way of making the people around them happy. And unless you are a shut off individual with no ability to read energy, the good feeling coming off happy individuals is contagious.

I recently had an epiphany about the power of good energy the other day while spending some time at Huckleberry, a neighborhood bakery and gourmet café in Santa Monica, California.

Happiness is a transferable energy source

Huckleberry was packed the moment I arrived. Despite having secured a table off to the side of the small eating area, I was stepped on, brushed against, and more than occasionally jostled by the long line of customers waiting to be served. I didn’t really care about the unconscious manhandling of the hungry guests, however. I had a bowl of silky and dense yogurt covered in a blanket of golden granola to savor.

But it was more than the power of oven-toasted oats that made me feel so content. It seemed that my good mood was a direct result of the energy of the place. The positive energy was so abundant I could tap into it—like my laptop plugged into the wall jack–and fill up for later.

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